Ruth shares her adoption journey
My husband and I had been married for 10 years when we adopted our 2 children who are brother and sister. We had gone down the usual routes of fertility treatment, but felt we needed to start a process which more or less guaranteed us the family we so desperately wanted, which is how we came to adoption. We did have about a year after fertility treatment ending before embarking on it, which gave us time to really think about what we wanted and whether adoption was something we both felt was right, which I felt was important for us as a couple.
We attended an information session initially and that was the start of the process. From there, we had a social worker come to the house and then we began Stage 1 of the process. From start to finish was 14 months for us, so really no time at all! The visits from our social worker became the normal and we were forced to think about so many things around becoming parents, which was certainly great preparation. We met some fabulous friends along the way too who were on our Preparation course and we still meet up with them now which is a great support.
We knew we wanted siblings and luckily we were approved at panel for 2 children who were pre-school age. We had left the matching process to our social worker who we felt knew us best, and it was definitely the right choice for us. I took a year of Adoption Leave from work in order to spend time with our children when they came home to us, to help form those all important bonds. It was the hardest year of my life, but I'm so glad I did it when I look back now.
We are 4 years into our Adoption journey and can't imagine life any other way. One of my husband's concerns before starting the process was that he might not bond with the children or feel the same as he might if we'd been able to have birth children. However, although it obviously took time for the feelings and attachments to grow, we can't imagine we could love our children any more than we do! You grow together and so does the love.
We have lots of challenges parenting, as do lots of people whether they have birth children or adopt. Our son has a number of additional needs which means that he needs extra time and support which is why I now work part time. When we look back though and see how far we've come as a family, it's all worthwhile! A quote I think sums up our Adoption journey so far is.....
Will it be easy? Nope. Will it worth it YES!!!!
To find out more about adopting with us call 0800 169 2061 or come along to our next information meeting.