Lucy and Adam share their adoption journey
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we chose to adopt children after the tragic loss of our baby girl when I was 6 months pregnant. It was always our intention to adopt at least 2 children and ideally they would be siblings. Both of us have siblings, I have 1 sister and my husband is the youngest of 5 so we completely wanted to nurture that special relationship you have with your siblings - all its trials and tribulations - and therefore, never saw us with any less than 2 children. It also crossed our mind that we didn’t want to complete the whole process again in a few years time.
We were approved at the panel meeting for two children under 4. Immediately we saw ourselves with two young children running around our home. Although we did think that if we were matched to just one child then so be it - but this really wasn't our dream. Our Social Worker was instrumental in finding us a match and we completely trusted her judgment - even though at times it was frustrating being part of the waiting game and the unknown of whether it would be one or two children.
Three months after going to approval panel, Fiona contacted my husband and said she had a match. This always stays with me because it wasn’t me that she contacted and usually all communication was with myself and her. As she later said she knew I would ‘go into orbit’ if she had shown me the CPR forms first, and boy was she right! On reading about our eldest son, who was nearly 2 and a half, I knew that it was a perfect match, then we were told there was a younger half-sibling and he was in fact 8 weeks old. The strange thing was I had never pictured us with boys having had many girls in our family, but after reading through the forms again I felt quite excited, finally we would have boys in our family, I would be the mummy of two sons! That night I read through the forms about three or four times on my phone thanks to our computer being broken and my husband being late in from work with the hard copies. When he did arrive home I read through them again and finally could see a photo of our eldest son. He looked so sad and lost and all I wanted to do was to meet him, scoop him up into my arms and tell him everything would be ok.
The next day the wheels began to move and Fiona bought some more photos to our house, this time of both of our boys. Our eldest looked a little happier on some of them and our youngest just looked so small. We couldn't wait.
In those next few months we made our ‘Family Book’ and frantically decorated the bedrooms and properly child-proofed the house.. After going to matching panel, dates were set for our introductions. I remember being so excited but then feeling sick with worry. Even though the match was going ahead there were some concerns about our youngest son’s development and particularly to do with his head, shoulder and neck. There is the element of stepping into the unknown and it’s more so with a young baby but we just wanted to know what exactly we were dealing with. Our Social Worker got us an appointment to see the pediatrician who was present on the matching panel and he reassured me that everything was fine and that he couldn't see any long-term effect, our youngest just needed to be encouraged more in moving.
Finally our introduction day arrived and as we walked through the door our eldest shouted ‘Mummy’ and jumped into my arms. I hugged him tightly wanting to just remember that moment forever. After putting him down I was then taken into the lounge where I met our youngest son who was lying in the arms of our foster carer’s daughter. I said hello and got the biggest beaming smile. At that point I knew we would be absolutely fine.
That was 16mths ago and our boys are now aged 4 and 22mths. Our eldest has settled into his first year at school and our youngest attends nursery 3 days a week whilst I am at work. I’d be lying if I said there hadn't been times when I questioned would it have been easier to adopt one child over two, particularly in the early days. However, those moments were just that…moments and normally fleetingly. I could never choose between either of them. Yes my youngest demands more of my attention - as babies do - but my eldest offers me so much in hugs, cuddles a helping hand and lots of laughs together! I watch them as they are beginning to play together and are running around the house laughing and giggling and I can see that special sibling relationship building. People often tell us ‘what good people we are to adopt children, not just one but to adopt two and for them to be boys’. We don’t see it like that at all, we see it as WE are the ones who are blessed to have 2 gorgeous sons.
To find out more about adopting with us call 0800 169 2061 or come along to our next information meeting.